Being a student leader means a great balancing act – juggling one’s studies and duties in the council. Shahana starts her day as early as four in the morning to pray. Then the rest of the day – from eight in the morning until nine in the evening — she devotes to council work. She squeezes in her homework and research for her Master’s thesis if she manages to have free time.
“Sobrang stressed,” she decribes her life now. “Kaya lang hindi ka pwedeng maburn-out. Kung mabuburn-out ka, maraming nakadepende sa iyo. So kung nadadown ka o naiistress ka, hindi mo kailangang mag-dwell doon sa stress.” To cope with the demands of her routine, she makes it a point to have an hour with herself alone. But even on that time, council responsibility inevitably encroaches. “Minsan meron pa nga, nanood ako ng sine, may magtetext sa akin , halimbawa, ‘Suspended ang classes ba?’ So syempre kailangan kong mag-reply. So nahahati pa rin yung time ko pag ganoon,” she says.
The rigors of Ramadan, which has started on September 12 and will end on October 13, are extra burden to her already grinding life. “Walang food – solid, liquid intake from 5 am until 6 in the evening. So kung walang kang kinakain, manghihina ka, e usually ginagawa ko, magfofollow-up ako ng papers, maglalakad-lakad sa campus, magdidiscuss ka.” Muslims fast during this time to feel for the poor who could not eat at least three times a day. “Mas lalo mong naappreciate ‘yung iyong condition,” she asserts.
Her victory in the elections may be an unprecedented act among female Muslim students in the UP, but she remains conservative in some respects, as manifested in her wearing the hijab, or the traditional Muslim headdress for women. The holy book of Islam, Quran, mandates women to cover their awrat, or body parts that could tempt men, such as their hair, arms, and legs. Thus,Shahana believes wearing the hijab is “every Muslim woman’s moral obligation.”
“May mga iba na gumagamit ng hijab pero nakasuot naman ng short sleeves o fitting outfits, so parang defeating rin yung purpose ng hijab mo. Kung maghihijab ka, dapat naka-long sleeves ka, tapos hindi masyadong naka-tight [clothes], yung kita yung curves mo. So basically, [wearing the hijab is for] hindi pang-attract ng attention.”
As Muslims are still a minority group in the Philippines, the hijab seems to do otherwise. “Pero iba yung nangyayari: nakakaattract ka ang attention dahil kakaiba ka sa society. So pag may nakakitang nakahijab ka, kakaiba ka, kasi ikaw lang ang nakaganyan. So nakakacatch ka ng attention in a way.”
Some feminists condemn this practice as oppressive of women. But for Shahana, the piece of cloth she wears around her head and fastens under her chin with a filigreed brooch serves the opposite. “Para sa akin it’s a form of expression. Kasi kung naka-hijab ka, makikilala ka ng mga tao as a Muslim. Kung makikita ng mga tao na capable ka na maging student leader or makipagsabayan sa mga students ng UP, it’s a statement kung baga. It’s a political statement on our part.”
She remembers one rally she joined during the height of the Hello Garci scandal. The police tried to disperse the demonstrators by water cannon. “So sabi nila (the other demonstrators), ‘Bakit nandyan pa rin yung hijab mo, hindi natanggal?’ ‘Ganyan talaga yan!’[I said] Hindi natanggal,” she laughingly narrates. During rallies, she makes sure that her partner is female, as physical intimacy with the opposite sex is frowned upon in Muslim culture. However, if she cannot avoid men holding her, especially in rallies that could get rowdy, she just concedes.
Despite the patriarchal orientation of a Muslim society, Shahana says that she and her three other sisters – they are all female in the brood, where she comes as the second – enjoys as much freedom as any Filipino woman today. “Sila pa nga ang nag-pupush eh, kung may maganda kang idea. Hindi iniimpose ng papa ko na, ‘ito ang dapat nating sundin,’” she describes her parents, especially her father, who is a Court of Appeals judge. Her entire family have moved now from Zamboanga City to Quezon City.
Like any girl her age, she gets giddy when talking about her love life. Between giggles, she says, “Marami silang ipinapares sa akin. Maraming ring nagpapa-sense,” or giving hints about courting her.
“Pero wala akong boyfriend.”
But she admits that many are courting her. She divulges about a frat man who is going through great lengths to win her love. “Meron pa ngang isang frat man na nagsabing magpapaconvert daw siya para sa akin. Dati umiinom, ngayon hindi na umiinom. Nagyoyosi. Bawal kasing mag-yosi [according to Islamic norms] at asthmatic ako, kaya hindi na nagyoyosi”
She is yet to accept his efforts, or those of her other suitors even. One thing is that she has no time for a romantic relationship now, with her crowded schedule. “Tsaka sa Islam, hindi advisable na magkaroon ka ng girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. Kasi mag-gigive way siya for other na mangyayari. As much as possible, kung magde-date kayo, dapat may chaperone. Kung may meeting ka with the opposite sex, dapat purely business ang pag-uusapan ninyo,”
It has been six years now since she returned to her hometown, on her first year in college. Her memories of Zamboanga City is dreary with images of helicopters, tanks passing by her family’s house, the earth shaking because of a nearby bomb explosion, and fully armed soldiers marching down the streets. “May mga mode pa kami na, maghukay tayo ng underground, dahil kung sasabog talaga yung Zamboanga, paano yung bahay, paano tayo, so kailangan mong maghukay. Oo, nakakatrauma talaga siya.” She was in high school then when President Joseph Estrada declared an “all-out war” with the Muslim rebels in Mindanao.
She blames the Muslim rebels of other Filipino’s perception of Muslims. “Yung mga ginagawa nilang mga rebellious acts, na hindi naman justifiable within Islamic code, ay condemnable. Ang hinahamak mo diyan ay mga civilians. In a way, hindi lang within their ranks ang natatamaan, kundi ang buong Muslim community. So pag sinabing Muslim ka, equals terrorist – binabansagan. Ganoon na yung naiisip dun eh. So kawawa yung mga Muslims na hindi naman associated sa ganoong mga organizations.”
Moreover, the call for autonomy of those rebels, as well of other non-rebellious Muslim groups is still untimely, she asserts. “So basically, ang view ko doon, hindi handa. Yung mga groups ng Muslims ay hindi rin ready. At hindi united, iba-iba yung views. Paano tayo magkocall for autonomy kung within our ranks nag-aaway-away tayo at iba-iba yung pananaw natin? May power conflict at competition among Muslims.” Shahana belongs to the Sama group, one of the 13 ethnolinguistic groups in Mindanao.
Besides lobbying for the building of a mosque in the UP campus, Shahana is also preparing now a series of fora in the UP to correct people’s misconceptions about Muslims.
After completing her Master’s thesis and her term as the USC chair, she is calling it quits with politics. “I still want to serve, pero hindi yung tulad ng sa mga politicians.”
“It’s a humbling experience,” she says of being the first female Muslim USC chair . “May reason [why I have became the first], pero hindi ko pa alam.”
She has not encountered any discrimination for a long time now, she says. However, some people, who know the norm of Islam on women heading institutions, are still surprised when they find out Shahana’s position in the University. “Ha? USC chair ka? Di ba bawal?” they exclaim.
“O, so, ano ngayon?” she retorts, flipping the fringe of her hijab behind her.
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