Western men and Asian ladies seem to have special attraction to each other that does not exist between western ladies and Asian men, or western men and African ladies. Sometimes referred to as “yellow fever”, once a western man has been with an Asian lady, many find it difficult to go back to a western woman. The reverse is often true as well. After Asian ladies have been with a western man, some conclude that western men are a source of liberation for all their carnal, and intimate aspirations.

Sheridan Prasso, author of “The Asian Mystique: Dragon Ladies, Geisha Girls & Our Fantasies of the Exotic Orient,” has argued that yellow fever stems from the Westerners’ misconstrued perception of Asian women as attentive and seductive. According to Prasso, the orient has always conjured exotic images full of opulence and sensuality, danger, depravity, and opportunity. Females are a personification of these sensual delights and men can have them in exchange for a marriage that borders on institutionalised prostitution.

Prasso’s view is quite common amongst western women living in Asia, who likewise have a view is that western men are after a subservient sex toy, and Asian women are gold diggers, sugar girls, or simply wanting an easy way to get some money.

As someone who is infected with yellow fever, I think the comments by Prasso and other western women tend to be a little ignorant, and part of the reason why western men like Asian ladies. In my case, my attraction to Asian women hasn’t been about danger, depravity, or experiencing something exotic. It has been more about having the opportunity to appreciate femininity. Accordingly, Asian women have been able to stimulate my emotions in a way that few western women can.

I had no attraction to Asian women until I went to live in Japan. When I first arrived, I got myself an Australian girlfriend, and I quite enjoyed her company. Over the following months; however, my eyes slowly turned away from her, and towards the Japanese ladies. It wasn’t one thing in particular. It was just the way the Japanese ladies walked, the way they dressed, the way they smiled, and the way they might look at a man. Their sights and sounds seemed to touch some kind of instinctual nerve in my body and soul. On the other hand, my Australian girlfriend just didn’t have the eye for beauty, nor did she care about trying to discover it.

As well as not having an eye for beauty, my Australian girlfriend didn’t have anything intelligent to say either. Like many western women, she was quite political and frequently ranted on about the sexism, and racism of Japan and the world in general. Although I too enjoy a political conversation now and then, I found that her strong opinions were merely the regurgitations of others. I’d already heard them 1,000 times before, and was getting quite bored hearing them again. I was in a new land full of new experiences and opportunities, and I found her negativity to be quite draining. When she started her rants, I often felt like putting a piece of tape over her mouth so that I could enjoy the new experiences of Japan in peace.

After a few months with her, I concluded that having a strong opinion, and having something worth listening to, were not one and the same. Since most western women in Japan were like my Australian girlfriend, I realised that even someone who I didn’t share a common language with would probably give me more intellectual stimulation. I tested my theory by breaking up with my Australian girlfriend, and getting a Japanese woman that could barely speak any English.

Having a relationship with a woman that I didn’t share a common language with was a totally new experience for me, and very thought provoking as a consequence. It was more in the realm of the senses and everything that I had hoped for. I likened it to climbing a mountain and seeing a beautiful view, and instead of being distracted by talking, the whole experience could just be admired in shared appreciation.

I found my experiences with the Japanese lady to be very liberating. In a way, she offered me an escape. On a basic level, her femininity offered me an escape from masculinity. Men are usually expected to be strong and stoic, but via a relationship with women, they gain entry into the world of the emotional. For example, if a group of men were walking down the street and they came across some flowers, it wouldn’t be appropriate to say: “hey guys, lets look at these flowers. Aren’t they lovely!” For a woman; however, such an appreciation of beauty is ok, and if a man accompanies the woman, he can share the nice feelings that come with the appreciation. Asian woman are better able to take men on that journey of appreciation because their eyes are more open to the beauty than are the eyes of the western woman.

Just as Asian women offer men an escape, I think western men also offer Asian women an escape. On one level, western men offer Asian women an escape from restrictive cultures. For example, in Asia, virginity is highly valued amongst Asian men. If a woman is not a virgin, or seems to enjoy sex too much, the Asian man will think less of her. Western men, on the other hand, generally have a preference for the ‘bad’ girl. With such men, Asian women gain more freedom to express themselves.

As well as offering Asian woman an escape from restrictive cultures, I think western men also offer Asian women a greater experience of the masculine world. Western men tend to be physically stronger, and more individually assertive than Asian men. On a sexual level, the western man’s superior strength allows him to pick up the lady in his two arms and make her feel safe or dominated. On a social level, the western man’s assertiveness as an individual breeds an air of confidence that women often find attractive.

In addition to making a woman feel safe and secure, I think western men’s superior communicative ability allows Asian women to achieve greater intimacy than they can with Asian men. Asian men are not really communicative. When Asian men go out, they drink, they sing, they play games, but in comparison to men in western cultures, they don’t have many conversations. Likewise, when Asian men court a woman, they don’t really talk to her. Instead, they tend to show consideration and generosity. They will buy something expensive for her. They will send lots of short messages on the mobile phone. They will do something difficult to show how much she means to him. It is via self-sacrifice that the man is able to show how much he cares for her.

For short periods of time, Asian women love the displays of generosity and consideration. Unfortunately, such displays tend to wane with time, and almost completely disappear after marriage. When they are gone, the lack of communication between husband and wife becomes a big problem, and divorce may follow.

Often divorced Asian women seek out the company of western men to find what they lacked in their marriage. They seek some kind of emotional or intellectual connection that is typically referred to as intimacy. Even with the language barrier, western men seem more capable of attaining the intimacy because they have more of a mind set to discover and engage with the woman, instead of conforming to some rules that can show their generosity and consideration.

Ironically, western women are responsible for many of the characteristics of western men that Asian women desire. Western men have probably come to value a woman enjoying sex as a result of western women rejecting notions of virginity in favour of sexual liberation. Likewise, western men are probably more capable of achieving intimacy as a result of western women demanding to be treated as equals, and be interacted with on an intellectual level. However, whereas the western woman is still complaining about the western man, the Asian lady is appreciating him. Consequently, when it comes time to choose between a lady with a critical attitude, and one with an appreciative attitude, it really is an easy decision to make.

Popularity: 12% [?]